police vs vongola?
by uchiha-sakura193
Summary: just wondering how the blue line fares against the crazy, lovable not to them   famiglia we all know
1. Chapter 1: What to do?

Yeah, my first time in writing fan fics. So warn me if my language gets a little too Minglishy

Flames will be used for s'mores with Byakuran k?

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing. The only thing I own is the fan fic.

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><p><strong>Chap 1: Duty calls<strong>

" All right then, this is your new assignment this time." Said his boss, looking very weary and had that weird pitying look on his face.

" …..Ok, what's with that look that says: 'The next time I see you is when they lower you six feet under?' said Hitoshi Akai, rather suspiciously. He flipped through the file, eyes becoming more sceptical by the second. "Hang on a mo, why am I recommended to a foreign police force, in…. why Italy?"

The question that his boss had apparently been dreading, judging from the way he looked even haggard than before, if that was even possible.

"It's something about the Romano Family and rumour has it that they're looking for a Japanese recruit for some reason. Since you already have an alias of a now former yakuza member, as well as having a street rep under the name, you were recommended to go infiltrate the place. Buuut,(which scares the hell of our maybe successful officer) our main goal is to infiltrate the Vongola."

" I'm sorry sir, the who?"

" The Vongola _is the most_ influential family ever known in history, and is rather notoriously difficult to apprehend, because of technicalities in the law and well, um.. well, (this time he looks at a loss for words) sigh, just read your file, you'll get the point. If there are any questions, ask them before the end of the week, because you'll be brushing up on your Italian until the end of the month and prepare for your trip. You can also spend your time with your family, when's the last time you spent time for them?"

Guilt. Akai thanked the officer for his (kinda) briefing and went home for much needed rest and to digest the added details and freshen up on his alias, Arata Kenshin.

"Kai, what are you doing? It's almost time for Ayumi to go to school. You're sending her, remember?" said his wife, Hitoshi Akemi. She found him poring over (yet another) ridiculously large pile of papers, all written in a language that looks suspiciously like Italian.

Oops, almost forgot about that. "C-coming," He hastily tried to tidy up the pile, only making making worse. His wife smiled exasperatedly, and pushed him to the door where his daughter was waiting,

" Otou-san, I'm going to be late!"

" Sooo, how's school ?"

" Fine"

"How's your friends?"

"Ok"

He sighed, he knew she would act like this. She really hates it when he has to leave for work, and he just finished an undercover op just a couple weeks ago and he was barely home after that. She's six but she knows that the job is dangerous, and he is going on another job, in ITALY no less.

" Don't be like that, you know I can't go home all the time, maybe after this one I'll take a holiday. That way we can all go to Kyoto, didn't you say you want to go there? Hmm?"

She perked up. "When?"

Bingo. " The moment everything blows over. K?"

At least she's smiling now, he mused. After dropping her off at school, he decided to go to the nearby park for a break, since Akemi should have gone to work already.

He took a walk, admiring the scenery surrounding him. He'll have to leave this place in just such a short time

"Ahh, nothing beats a good old br-"

CRASH!

"YAKYUU-BAKA! WATCH WHERE YOU'RE SWING THAT THING! ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME ?"

Peace and quiet? Screw that.

* * *

><p>I know it's kinda dull but I promise the the pace will pick up next time. ^^;<p>

Til then, ciao ciao

xoxo


	2. Chapter 2: way too loud

Yeah, my first time in writing fan fics. So warn me if my language gets a little too Minglishy

Flames will be used for s'mores with Byakuran k?

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing. The only thing I own is the fan fic.

* * *

><p><strong>Chap 1: Duty calls<strong>

" All right then, this is your new assignment this time." Said his boss, looking very weary and had that weird pitying look on his face.

" …..Ok, what's with that look that says: 'The next time I see you is when they lower you six feet under?' said Hitoshi Akai, rather suspiciously. He flipped through the file, eyes becoming more sceptical by the second. "Hang on a mo, why am I recommended to a foreign police force, in…. why Italy?"

The question that his boss had apparently been dreading, judging from the way he looked even haggard than before, if that was even possible.

"It's something about the Romano Family and rumour has it that they're looking for a Japanese recruit for some reason. Since you already have an alias of a now former yakuza member, as well as having a street rep under the name, you were recommended to go infiltrate the place. Buuut,(which scares the hell of our maybe successful officer) our main goal is to infiltrate the Vongola."

" I'm sorry sir, the who?"

" The Vongola _is the most_ influential family ever known in history, and is rather notoriously difficult to apprehend, because of technicalities in the law and well, um.. well, (this time he looks at a loss for words) sigh, just read your file, you'll get the point. If there are any questions, ask them before the end of the week, because you'll be brushing up on your Italian until the end of the month and prepare for your trip. You can also spend your time with your family, when's the last time you spent time for them?"

Guilt. Akai thanked the officer for his (kinda) briefing and went home for much needed rest and to digest the added details and freshen up on his alias, Arata Kenshin.

"Kai, what are you doing? It's almost time for Ayumi to go to school. You're sending her, remember?" said his wife, Hitoshi Akemi. She found him poring over (yet another) ridiculously large pile of papers, all written in a language that looks suspiciously like Italian.

Oops, almost forgot about that. "C-coming," He hastily tried to tidy up the pile, only making making worse. His wife smiled exasperatedly, and pushed him to the door where his daughter was waiting,

" Otou-san, I'm going to be late!"

" Sooo, how's school ?"

" Fine"

"How's your friends?"

"Ok"

He sighed, he knew she would act like this. She really hates it when he has to leave for work, and he just finished an undercover op just a couple weeks ago and he was barely home after that. She's six but she knows that the job is dangerous, and he is going on another job, in ITALY no less.

" Don't be like that, you know I can't go home all the time, maybe after this one I'll take a holiday. That way we can all go to Kyoto, didn't you say you want to go there? Hmm?"

She perked up. "When?"

Bingo. " The moment everything blows over. K?"

At least she's smiling now, he mused. After dropping her off at school, he decided to go to the nearby park for a break, since Akemi should have gone to work already.

He took a walk, admiring the scenery surrounding him. He'll have to leave this place in just such a short time

"Ahh, nothing beats a good old br-"

CRASH!

"YAKYUU-BAKA! WATCH WHERE YOU'RE SWING THAT THING! ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME ?"

Peace and quiet? Screw that.

* * *

><p>I know it's kinda dull but I promise the the pace will pick up next time. ^^;<p>

Til then, ciao ciao

xoxo


	3. Chapter 3: oh look,Jacques Clouseau

Jacques Bellefleur and Polenta Filipepi belong to Orrunan K?

_Italian will be in itallic, naturally._

Whoops. Almost forgot.

**Disclaimer: **KHR belongs to Amano, so don't sic the lawyers at me.

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><p><strong>Chap 3: You'll see<strong>

A couple weeks later, he was briefed on who to meet when he arrived there. When he opened the door, he found his boss skyping with a guy that looks like he's going bust a blood vessel anytime now, they really need to get this guy off the expressos.

"_Ah, speak of the devil, here he is right now. Hitoshi, meet Jacques Bellefleur. Bellefleur, meet your new recruit, Hitoshi Akai, also known as the 'man with a hundred faces', or to be now known as Arata Kenshin_."

"_Pleased to meet you, Bellefleur-san_."

"_Likewise."_

'He looks rather tired, but then, it is almost Christmas. ', thought Akai

"_Mr. Hitoshi, do you understand the moment you participate in this operation, you are not allowed to contact with outside people that might compromise your position in the Famiglia?"_

Of course he knew that. It's too dangerous for them. Hostages, executions, people disappearing because of leaks, good thing **that** didn't happen to him. He answered:

"_Yes. I do"_

"_Good. The moment you touchdown, wear one of your disguises and come to our HQ. We'll brief you there."_

_"Why?"_

_"You'll see."_

Clearly, Jacques wants to soften the blow on our detective. But sadly, no matter what you do, THEY ARE NEVER PREPARED.

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><p>It was finally the time for Akai to fly. He said goodbye to Akemi and Ayumi and boarded his plane under Arata Kenshin. For now, Hitoshi Akai has disappeared off the face of the earth. It really bugs him how Mafiosi can travel anywhere in style (business class, mind you) get to enjoy things that are hard to come by, earn such high salaries(?) compared to normal, honest people with legal jobs.<p>

Sucks that crime pays so well.

Bored, he looked at the people on the plane. Near the front of the plane, is an old guy, around in his sixties, dozing off in his chair. Nothing interesting there.

Next, a glance to the right row. A woman was reading a newspaper. The headlines looked interesting, looks like Japan just won a baseball match. Hmmm. Having not read the newspaper this morning, he asked to borrow it after she was finished with it.

"NAMIMORI'S Yamamoto Takeshi has quit the team"

Looks like Namimori had went from rather unknown to famous because of a Yamamoto Takeshi in the baseball team, and will go back to its original status as he had left due to.. 'family issues'. He had quite the stellar career, almost no losses when he was on the team, damn this kid is good. He could have gone international if he hadn't quit. Just turning 20 this year, it's too bad the good ones burn out fast.

On another note, a Sasagawa Ryohei had made it big in the boxing business, also from Namimori. An amateur boxer, breaking records in an EXTREME way. With K-Os at every match, he might just make it to the Olympics.

Returning the newspaper, he took a nap, otherwise he'll crash and burn during the briefing.

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><p>Got a cramp writing my essay. Three drafts later, I still got writer's block. My brain hates it<p>

Til next time, ciao ciao


	4. Chapter 4: A Christmas briefingNOT!

This is longer than I expected. Hope you guys enjoyed it.

I will enjoy making flambés with flames.

**Disclaimer: ****I do not own KHR. That is all.**

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><p><strong>Chap 4: Briefing time<strong>

"Do you understand?"

"Umm, no?"

"Which part?"

"Like… Are you sure the ones writing the report aren't on hallucinogens? This is.. rather unbelievable, no offence."

Oh yeah, Jacques just briefed Akai on the Vongola. Reaction is only natural. From what Akai observed, Bellefleur is under a lot of strain, but it doesn't look holiday related. Wonder whether his nickname is 'Jacques Clouseau', with the Vongola as the 'Pink Panther'. He overheard someone planning on giving the poor guy a 'Pink Panther' T-shirt this year again. So this is not the first time they gave him one.

"You'll get used to it"

The door opens. A timid looking office boy pokes his head through the door. "Sir, there's a present for you."

"Just put it in my office. Why did you interrupt me just to tell me this?"

"They said that it will be better for you to just get it over with."

Jacques looked confused for a moment, then looked like he swallowed a bug. Whatever it is, it looks serious. But he could see the officers outside looking like they're placing bets on something.

After a minute, he decided.

"You know what, just take a break. Have fun with the idiots outside. Just come back after the party, or maybe tomorrow."

And with a face that looks like he's going to face a firing squad, he walked out the door, leaving a very confused Akai. With nothing better to do, why not ask his senpais on what just happened?

" 50 on a donation in his name."

" That already happened last year. 20 on really high-end chocolate."

"Hang on, the rookie's walking here. Heard that they are going to put him in 'that' project."

" Ooh, ten on one month"

"Shh. I bet he wants to ask what's up with the assistant commissioner. Here he comes."

Akai walked up to 3 people trying not to laugh.

"Ano… can you tell me why is the assistant commissioner is acting so oddly?"

"Let's just say that somebody started a tradition of sending presents to him"

"And the problem being?"

"They came from somebody in the Vongola, one of the higher ups, after old Jacques here saved his life, and then arresting him," said Sam.

"But the guy broke out from the detention centre with a half-inch thick steel door with a pick-axe that nobody knows where it came from," piped up the scrawny blond guy, Rupert.

"And he keeps insisting that he and Jacques are at least friendly rivals, guess how he feels."

"Every year after that, expensive Christmas presents, courtesy of the guy. When Jacques said that he will not accept bribes, the next year comes a great big check to an orphanage."

"In his name, no less."

" Which started our bet on what it will be this time," with an evil smirk, Red (everyone kinda forgot his name after he got saddled with that nickname.) pointed at the glass window with a clear view of our subject looking as if checking for a bomb in the package.

"Any minute now….."

Jacques opened the present to find very high quality green tea leaves. He face-desks.

"Ouch, nobody wins, bookie takes all! Pleasure doing business with you gentlemen, I'll be taking my leave now. See ya!" Red went to the cock-tail bar to fix a non-alcoholic drink.

"So this happens every year?"

"Yep"

No wonder he looked like someone spiked his drink with jalapeno juice. If this happened every year, that guy will get aneurysm sooner or later.

Jacques came out of his office. Sighing heavily, he leaned on the wall next to Akai.

"Are you alright sir?"

"I'll be fine after we finally convict this guy. Finally, we get one of the sub-bosses ass for something they can't twist out of. We've got the dirt on this guy for sure, it is just tax-evasion but at least it's something."

"Umm, sir? The other workers said that you keep receiving presents from one of the Vongola every Christmas?"

Wrong thing to say. Jacques's face darkened at the mere mention of it. Before he could say anything, his phone rang.

"Hello"

" Sir, this is Inspector Adrian from the German branch. It is about the V-Vongola, sir."

Whatever it is, it cannot be good. He braced himself.

" What happened this time?"

"Well, you see it **is** the Vongola after all, anything can happen right? I honestly didn't believe it myself. But then it happen to me. Please don't shoot me, I honestly didn't know that this could happen, it's not possible with today's technology, whatever they have, it is decades ahead of our time-"

Please let there not be anything up with the sub-boss in custody there. If something happened so close to the trials, he will make the whole department suffer. First victim coming up will be this one.

"Spit. It. Out."

"Adogatetheevidencesir," choked out the inspector, dreading the response. Everyone in on the project knew how much he hates the Vongola.

Eerie, calm silence. You can't even hear the voices in the background.

Naturally, the entire room shut up to see what's up with the boss.

"Do you mind repeating that, I seem to have not heard what you said just now. A little bit slower, please?" he said, unexpectedly calm and mild.

"Hoo, um, a dog ate the evidence?"

"….."

And only more silence. This really worried the inspector, and the people in the same room as Jacques. The experienced ones figured out the symptoms and got out of the 10 feet radius. Unfortunately, Akai was not experienced.

"Sir, are you still there?"

3…..2….. 1.

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN, A DOG ATE YOUR EVIDENCE!"

Akai was a little shell-shocked and a little disbelieving at this point. Firstly, the amount of energy and volume in Jacques's lungs is surprising, given his size. And secondly, why did somebody use the 'my dog ate my homework' excuse? If you want to make an excuse to cover a blunder, don't you want to use something a tad more believable?

" It only went for that particular case sir, and it was on fire, with blue-coloured flames. The dog I mean, not the evidence. And then it just turned into a fireball and disappeared. I have no idea what had happened, but we lost everything we had on the guy, we don't have any choice but to release him."

"YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THAT A FLAMING DOG ATE ALL THE EVIDENCE WE HAVE ON HIM AND DISAPPEARED BY TURNING INTO A FIREBALL?

'Wut." This is beyond ridiculous. The guy on the phone is crazy.

"Please tell me you have back-up."

Wait, are you kidding me, he bought the story! Akai can't believe what he just heard.

"We **had **back-ups, but-"

"But?" suspecting the answer.

"It ate them too."

"Goodbye."

He ended the call. Akai could see little cracks on the phone.

Jacques sighed. Was he Aldolf Hitler in his past life? Is that why he's suffering so much right now?

Seeing a very dejected Assistant Commissioner in a corner, he asked a nearby co-worker.

"What just happened just now?"

"An unbelievable story, check. A very dejected Jacques, check. Things that break the law of physics and biology, check. What we have here is another classic case of Vongola breaking their men out in broad daylight with credible witnesses, and yet leaving the force unable to get them in any way. I'm so going to give him another Pink Panther T-shirt on his birthday. You might want to come back tomorrow to get the low-down on everything from the old man."

" I see. Thanks?"

"You'll get used to it, rookie."

"O-Kay, good night"

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><p>Thanks for reading my stories.<p>

I never expected for people to find my story so fast. You guys reacted like sharks to blood. ^^;

See you next time!


	5. Chapter 5: Enter Polenta Philipepi

Polenta Filipepi belongs to Orrunan

**Disclaimer: KHR does not belong to me. got it?**

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><p>Enter Polenta Filipepi<p>

*Italy*

"Filipepi, could you do something for me?"

Polenta flinched at the voice he recognised so easily.

"Sure, no problem."

"I know you're still recovering from the incident last time but we require your help."

"….. What is it?" (_God please don't do this to me. I wish I'm not on the front lines against the Vongola. Now I know why the average time of somebody getting undercover and staying undercover is so short. They came back looking like they did duty in Afghanistan. And top it all off, they suffered shell-shock. Those people better pay me extra for tricking me into doing this crazy shit. It was so much better when I didn't know anything about them.)_

"Well it's a simple thing really. All we want you to do is escort Lal Mirch, Colonello and our middle man, Jack, to a meeting with the Romano family. Since they look like babies, their access to places are rather restricted when we need this to off-radar."

'_OH HELL NO I'M GOING ANYWHERE WITH THAT CRAZY GIRL BABY! I SAW HER TAKE OUT A FREAKING BAZOOKA AND LAUNCHED IT AT THE COPS RAIDING THE BAR FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! I hate you, Sawada Iemitsu,' _Polenta ranted mentally while keeping a magnificent poker face.

"Em, excuse me, who is Colonello?"

"Hm? Oh, he's also one of the Acrobaleno, like Lal. Lal was his mentor during their days in Comsubin."

'shitshitshitshit, Acrobaleno? Another crazy baby? Does he know that I'm from the force and decided to just use them to kill me via flying shrapnel from Acrobaleno fights_?'_

"I see. When is it and where?"

"Next Wednesday, in the abandoned warehouse back at the old port. Watch out, it might go sour because we've been hearing stuff on them. If there is any funny business, report to us immediately. The inheritance ceremony isn't that far off and I don't want anything to happen to my kawaii son and his guardians, they'll all arrive very soon. Ahh, good thing that that Hibari kid took some things off our shoulders, even though he bites the people I send there to death. Just like the Cloud Guardian from Primo's generation, he set up an organisation independent from everyone. New, but very efficient."

"I see. Then I'll be on my way then, sir."

"Good luck!"

He was reading the newspaper when his phone vibrated. Not the Vongola issued one, but the law issued one. It was a file on a new undercover agent, name, Hitoshi Akai, alias name is Arata Kenshin, is currently undercover in the Romano Famiglia.

He scrolled down to the rest of the file. Recent report states that he will accompany the boss on a meeting with the Vongola next Wednesday. The officers on the other side are trying to manipulate things so that he will end up in the Vongola to help Polenta drill holes in the upper echelons of the Vongola Famiglia.

Later that day, complaints were lodged because residents of Block B heard of a very loud whooping noise, suspected to have come from his apartment.

"Man, I thought everyone back there had forgotten about me. Finally, someone to help me out. It is always darkest before dawn, and dawn is fast arriving. I am so going to retire after this bloody fiasco. I'll kill them if they don't give me my pension after what I've endured for them."

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><p>*Meanwhile, within the Romano Famiglia*<p>

(A/N: I'm switching from Akai to Kenshin on his undercover op, K?)

"Yo, Kenshin!"

"Hey, Philippe."

Kenshin was greeted by the great Hulk by the door. They hadn't had the best of introductions when Philippe thought that he could rough up the new recruit, but ended up having a foot in his mouth, Kenshin's foot to be exact.

"Oi, newbie, the boss wants ya. Respect him, ya hear me, punk?"

One month in on the operation and he quickly went through the ranks. He's now a trusted member of one of the sub-bosses. All the faster to take them down with.

He opened the door to find a short, slightly pudgy, and a coward of a leader. Politicians are all the same, the only difference is whether there are laws stopping them or making them do something. All you have to do to survive is to be cunning, ruthless, and manipulative.

Good thing he's due for a transfer to the Vongola. The dirt he got on the Romanos are way too easy. The amount was astounding, he barely had to dig at the surface. Drugs, arms dealing, and human trafficking, name it and he already found it. Seriously, human trafficking? Whoever does things are a piece of shit. People missing loved ones, kids turning up other countries, far away from home. This is why he became a cop in the first place. To stop and chuck these bastards into jail where they belong. Once he leaves the place, the police will just sweep the place clean. A very good riddance.

"Ah, good morning, Kenshin."

He bowed to the fat guy.

"Good morning, sir."

"Tell me, have you heard about the Vongola Famiglia?"

Oho, what do we have here, a business deal? Looks like when can tie someone from the Vongola with this case.

"Aren't they the most powerful Famiglia ever known, sir?"

"That's right. And we are going to have a business transaction with them next Wednesday and well, if an opportunity presents itself, why not take it?"

"I don't quite get your meaning, sir. What are you planning to do?"

"I want to send them a message. What better way than having a dead messenger so close to the Decimo's inheritance ceremony?"

He was shocked beyond words. He's heard of stupidity, but this is, this is-

He can't even find words on how idiotic that sounds. On the other hand, he picked up on something useful. Inheritance ceremony for Vongola Decimo huh, maybe we can bust them right on that day and get all the heads of important famiglias in one go.

"Are you sure, sir?"

"Of course. I've been planning this since I joined the mafia. When the Vongola Famiglia gets knocked off their high horse, guess who takes their place?"

They are so going to get annihilated. But he has to at least try to half-heartedly persuade him otherwise, then just ignore the lunatic as he walks into the firing range.

"But sir, don't you think that their security will be even harder to go through to avoid anything that will tarnish their reputation?"

"That's what makes it such a good challenge. So stick close to me, rookie, and you will reach the sky. Take these files to the people and tell them to be ready by Monday. "

"Yes sir, goodbye sir."

Not so nice knowing you, fatso.

The moment he arrived at his apartment he quickly went for his phone to report everything to Jacques. (Jacques doesn't want to trust people with records, reports and evidence because of you-know-what)

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><p>Whoo, that was long. Just a couple more chapters until someone we know arrive<p>

Read and review please 3


	6. Chapter 6: Inevitable Chaos

Thank you for reviewing my work. I'm glad that quite a few people had put me on story alert as well as favs.

**Disclaimer: I don't own the story, only the fic.**

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><p><strong>Chap 6: Inevitable Chaos<strong>

Kenshin received an order to be careful and to be on the look-out for Polenta Philipepi. Higher-ups are working on it. In addition to that, he checked a folder on a Polenta Philipepi. Seems that he holds the world record in the force for the longest time spent undercover in the Vongola Famiglia: 3 years and counting, it should be relatively easy for Polenta to invite Kenshin in the Vongola without arousing suspicion from security.

Despite all that, hadn't he heard from underworld rumours that it actually piece of cake easy to sneak in the Vongola threshold, it's the staying there that's the problem for both police officers and moles from rival Famiglia? They say that the more powerful the Famiglia, the crazier the conditions in there. Sci-fi weapons that even the law hadn't seen, therefore unconvictable if you don't show evidence that says that it exists, then all you can do is watch as they dance right out of jail.

He sighed, and got ready for the business deal. He put on a bullet-proof vest just in case, and went out to meet them.

* * *

><p>*Back to Polenta*<p>

"Are you ready sir?" said Polenta, looking at the middle-aged gentlemen on his left.

"Ahaha, no problem. It's just that I've been feeling tired recently. Ramped upped security can do that to you with people constantly checking my identity to make sure it's not an illusion trying to get in.

"Is that so-"

Polenta's phone rang, surprising both people. Polenta quickly answered it.

"Yes, what? I understand. I'll warn them."

He ended the call. Polenta grabbed Antonio's arm and went to look for Lal Mirch and Colonello in the training room.

"You idiot! Your skills went down by a lot! Comsubin members don't do flashy, they are pros!"

Polenta and Antonio opened the door to find: a supposed to be bombproof room with a gaping hole in one side, countless craters in the rest of the walls, and a little girl baby bitch slapping a blond baby with a rifle strapped on his back.

"Miss Mirch, my friend called me just now and said that the Romano Famiglia are planning to assassinate Antonio during the deal!" while trying to ignore the damage that he sees all over the room. Somehow, even though he doesn't really like these people, but he can't help but to feel sorry for the engineers and mechanics that have to rebuild the place over and over and over again. Not to mention that the Vongola Guardians have an undisputed reputation of property destruction wherever they go. These people have it so hard.

"Oh yeah, who told you?" Finally letting go of who Polenta presumes to be Colonello, as kids are not supposed to carry army-grade riffles like they're nothing. Colonello is busy trying to rub the slapmarks off his cheeks, and half paying attention to the conversation.

"Um, a friend of a friend of mine from the Romano Famiglia. It seems that they've been planning this for quite a while, so I thought I should warn you just in case."

"NO KIDDING, DUMBASS! WHY DO YOU THINK THAT WE'RE COMING ALONG FOR! TO SEE THE SCENARY?" giving Polenta a goodsized headache via the foot-to-face method, which seems to be the traditional way of Acrobalenos greeting people.

"You people knew it all along?" half incredulously, he asked.

"Why do you think that both of us are coming, the two of you are supposed to meet them while we stand guard in the shadows for monkey business, god, I'm not sure which one of you people is the bigger idiot, the one who hits on his instructor, or that naïve idiot Sawada, or you." Walking away, leaving a petrified trio.

Sawada? Doesn't she call the head of CEDEF Iemitsu? Is she talking about the son?

"Don't worry, she's just antsy about the upcoming ceremony, kora. She's just worried about the kid. Bout the meeting, don't fret. There's a very small possibility of you people dying from the gunfight. After all, both of us are there to keep an eye on things, kora."(A/N: Those he say 'kora with each sentence? Just that much and I already feel like squishing him) With those words from Colonello, both men simultaneously walked away and continued on the safety arrangements so that they on get killed from stray bullets from either one of those two babies. Because frankly, both are more scared of those two than they are of any deal gone wrong.

* * *

><p>*Now its Kenshin's turn again*<p>

"So you remember the plan?"

"Yes sir."

"I prefer minimum casualties on our side. Good workers are really hard to come by, they are incredibly fussy on where they work. There won't be that much seniors to keep an eye on them if they all die, won't it?"

Keep on talking, the police will be here to arrest both your asses within the hour, thought Kenshin.

"Good afternoon, gentlemen. I'm Antonio and I believe we have a transaction to conduct?"

The sudden appearance of a middle-aged man spooked the two men, wondering how much of their conversation had been overheard. Now that Kenshin calmed down some, he saw that there was somebody behind Antonio, whom he recognised as Polenta Philipepi from the file he had read recently, one of the force's only moles in the Vongola Famiglia.

Fatso took a longer time to recover from his shock. "Ah, yes, of course. Do you have what we want?"

"Yes."

"But why don't I see anything on your person? Or are your people planning on back-stabbing us?"

"Of course not. If a famiglia does not have a fight to pick with us, why should we fight with them in the first place? We only use violence when we are attacked, or maybe ambushed. But, shouldn't I ask that very question as you also came empty-handed?"

"Touché," came back the answer. Kenshin had a gut feeling that his message got through and was passed through to Pepi-san, and that this could be a good opportunity to be offered a place among the Vongola if he played his cards right.

"We decided to not do business with you anymore."

Fatso was shocked, but then smiled. Not in a good way.

"May I be so bold as to enquire the reason?"

"One, because it seems that you have been dabbling with drugs to sell to people, making it colourful so that even children would want to buy it. That is something that our Famiglia despises the most. After all, aren't children the ones whom we pass the torch to?"

Fatso went pale. How the hell did they know it came from him? Didn't he cover his tracks perfectly? Shit, now the body count has to go up.

"But it is quite a lucrative business. Didn't we surpass ourselves when we paid tribute to the Vongola ? Wasn't it worth it?"

"No," came the cold reply. Antonio paused before continuing.

"And secondly, we've heard that you have been helping out with the human trafficking business. I believe that it has been very clear to everyone that both Nono and Decimo do not like it."

"But it's nobody's business on the way I roll."

"Yes, yes, we know all that. But your plan on killing me and my associate is rather pressing, and this is our response."

Antonio's phone rang. He put it on loud speaker.

"OI, FATSO! IF YOU WANT TO AMBUSH US, THEN HIRE BETTER GOONS CUZ THESE SUCK!"

"They ….took all….. of ….. us out, sir" Polenta winced at what she could have done to give the guy a soprano.

"JUST SHUT UP AND HOLD STILL, YOU WUSS! Oh yeah, Antonio?"

"Yes?"

"Don't go out just yet. There's a bunch of cops surrounding the place for some reason. Taking care of that. Wait."

The line went dead. Kenshin saw Polenta shaking his head and sighing. He found out the reason five minutes later.

BOOM.

Part of the wall fell down, revealing a very small figure. In fact, far too small to have caused the wall to be blasted open. But Kenshin had to reassess his opinion when the smoke and dust cleared even more to reveal that even though it was a baby, but that baby is carrying a bazooka and dragging three goons and two police officers behind her, unclear on their health, but it looks like they're still alive.

"Looks like they were about to bust on this place. So looks like the round guy over there tried to wash his hands by calling the cops. Colonello's tying and gift wrapping them together. Since we're kinda busy, so we just put a file on their junk and just dump them in front of the police station. Save us time and money, good."

She jumped at 'the round one' and knocked him out with a hit. She was about to the same to Kenshin when Polenta blurted out " Whoah, he's our informant!"

Since she was already mid-air when he said that, she opted for a landing on Kenshin's face, knocking him down. He was too shocked to do anything but to gaped at how things turned out when the phone came out.

"Your name is Kenshin Arata, is that correct?" snapping Kenshin out of his stupor.

"Um yes?"

"We would like to thank you for informing us on his betrayal, and as the Romano Famiglia might come after you for revenge, would you like to join us in the Vongola Family? I'm sure that the people won't mind."

This was way too easy. Just like that? Oh well, why not.

"I'll be honoured to."

"Great! Since you and Polenta know each other, Polenta shall teach you the ropes on how to survive in our place. Got that?"

"Um, yes Sir!"

"Well, shall we go back?" gesturing to both men, they all walked out the warehouse, leaving Lal and Colonello on the 'gift wrapping'.

Kenshin decided to just ignore the baby girl, as he had absolutely no idea how to react to this situation.

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><p>It wasn't till the next day that Kenshin found out what the little baby girl meant by 'gift wrapped'. The police had found 30 hired guns, 1 sub-boss, and 60 police officers at the police station. There were ribbons tying them up, with a note that said: 'We believe that this belongs to you.'<p> 


	7. Chapter 7: Questions, questions

__Gomenasai! I didn't think it would take this long! This is way over my usual. Hope you guys like long chapters!

_Italian in Italic _

They will be speaking English unless stated otherwise.

Disclaimer: I do not own KHR.

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><p>Chap 7: The Insanity, and 20 Questions<p>

Kenshin woke up to the sun shining on him. He sat up, struggling to remember what happened last night (ya know, the crazy late Christmas present for the station).

He is now sharing the same apartment with Polenta, as they are now work-partners, both in the force and in the mob. He walked in the living room, to find Polenta half cringing, half reading today's newspaper. Obviously, whatever article he's reading is making him like that.

"You look like my boss when he sent me to Italy."

Polenta looked up, eyes peering over his reading glasses.

"You don't look too good yourself, had a good nights' sleep?"

That was a very good point. As he found (very bad) five o'clock shadow on the guy.

"Rough night."

"Mmm. Don't worry, you'll get used to it. Last longer than the others okay? I heard rumours that the last few officers quit due to institution problems, the Vongola had gone up a few notches getting ready for the ceremony. So, I heard you have family right? You might want to sign papers so that Jacques will see to it that your family gets your pension, with bonuses, of course, should you die, become crippled, or forced to leave due to mental health problems that might crop up because you accepted the mission of infiltrating the Vongola. I don't think that anyone has been here longer than 3 years, the shortest period that any law enforcement had spent in the Vongola was what, 15 minutes? counting from the moment he stepped foot on Italian soil."

"Hang on, I remember signing something like that along with the documents my boss gave me. He said that it was for insurance reasons. And just in case I crack from the stress."

"So do you mind hanging on longer than the rest? It get really lonely here and to tell you the truth, I think that the government only sent us here so that it looks that they are trying to crack the mafia, when they have no hope in hell on taking down the Vongola."

It was one thing to listen to him ramble on about people going insane from clam overexposure, but why the government in such a defeatist tone? He had to ask.

"What do you mean by 'no hope in hell'?"

Polenta knew this was coming and frankly, he didn't want to scare the rookie away. But he has to know these things, otherwise he'll end up like the rest of the people. The force even has a nickname for the people who came back from the Vongola rambling like a bunch of idiots: 'the clam-shocked victims' since clams also have a shell. Even though it was a fond, mostly mocking nickname, at least they had respect for the poor men who went where no sane man would want to go even if he had been held at gun-point. So, he decided to just say the truth, and he can't exaggerate (but that's impossible!) the facts.

"Okay, let's just give you the easy to digest facts on the Vongola. How about we just start with this?"

He unfolded the newspaper he was reading, and on the front page is *surprise surprise* a very large crowd of people all wrapped up in orange, red, yellow, green, blue, purple, and violet ones. A close up of the mass shows an orange folder entitled: 'For The Law Enforcement' on a pudgy guy in a tuxedo, which Akai immediately recognised that they were the people that tried to kill them. Among the hired guns, there were also SWAT looking officers. Naturally, everyone was found missing their weapons, otherwise they'd be long gone.

"What the hell is **that**?"

"Vongola was too busy with preparing that they just gave up and dumped them in front of the station. So this happened. This is how they are normally, so get yourself ready for the guardians' arrival because it will get even more destructive and crazier. I hear that there are a few therapists on their payroll if that makes you feel any better."

_*Excerpt from the newspaper*_

It would appear that the Italian force has received a rather late Christmas present yesterday, for several of Europe's most wanted men had apparently been delivered on their doorstep, complete with ribbons.

The chief had said that they have suspicions on who might have done such a thing, and have grudgingly given their thanks for those who had caught these dangerous criminals. The citizens are somewhat unsurprised though, with answers mostly being: Only _them_ are capable such things, but they are still well loved by us.

Whoever did this is apparently rather infamous for such acts. Although the locals are only mildly interested in this, the entire law enforcement are shocked at how easily some of Europe's most wanted men had fallen into their lap.

Despite all the attention the news got, it is very unlikely that it can be continued as there are absolutely no leads whatsoever. Comments are unheard of as the officers found tied with the men are found to in state of shock due to trauma suffered from unknown causes.

"This happens when they are too lazy to cover their tracks. They take refuge in audacity. That's why every generation of freshies end up failing every single time they try to bring them in. Even if we get them for something convictable, they always, and I mean always, get them out without fail."

"Why can't you people get them? Like how do they always get away with it?"

"That's because of: Number one, even though the Vongola Famiglia is the Godfather of all mafias, they don't do drugs, no human trafficking which makes people love them like anything. They even say nothing when there is total destruction raging on in the back. Dead loyal to the Famiglia, without any threats to their family, it's all voluntary. Plus a lot of the cops are either in their pocket, given up and decided to look away every time something Vongola related pops up, or just plain bribed."

"What?"

"I'm not finished yet. Ssh. Number two: We just don't have the technology to arrest them. Forget nuclear-proof, nobody knows how to make anything Vongola proof yet. You heard about the guy with the pick-axe hacking through an inch thick steel door in one of the holding centres? That really happened, and guess what? HE'S THE HEAD OF CEDEF!"

"Wait, back up. What's CEDEF? How come I never read about it before? This wasn't in the file."

"Oh yeah. That's because you know the one who kept sending Jacques those presents? He's the head."

"What? That's the guy driving him crazy?"

"We think that Jacques thinks that as long as he ignores the guy in every way, he'll eventually stop it, or vanish. Just found out that the upcoming Decimo is his son. Since we're talking about the guy who hacked through the wall, his son is going to be one hell of a guy to take down. By the way, have you heard of the Varia?"

"I'm afraid there was almost nothing in the file. From underground rumours, it's said that they are assassins? Nobody wanted to say anything, they looked like they're scared of them."

"They should be, their leader is Xanxus, he was the Ninth's adopted son, he tried to overthrow him and take the rings which signifies the right to rule, by the way, but got taken down a few pegs by the head's son, not sure what his name is. Back then it was 5 or 6 years ago, when he was in middle school."

"The rest of the Varia?"

"Second-in-command would be Squalo, very loud and I heard that there is a mentor-mentee relationship with the Vongola's rain guardian, well kinda like that. And one of the best swordsman ever known alive. He was about to become the head of the Varia, but no one really knows why he followed Xanxus."

"Aren't they on bad terms with the Vongola, what's up with the rain guardian there?"

"Looks like his talent with the sword caught his interest, that and the fact that Reborn, a hitman associated with the Vongola, said that he is a natural hitman might have something to do with it."

Kenshin was disbelieving. Why would he train an enemy? That does not make any sense.

"Who are these people exactly?"

"Vongola's independent assassination squad. The other members are: Leviathan, the thunder; Mamon, the mist; Prince Bel, the storm; and Lussuria, the sun. Add Xanxus the sky and Squalo the rain, and we have the Varia counterparts of the Vongola guardians. Oh, before I forget, I heard that Xanxus has one hell of a hair-trigger when it comes to Decimo, they said that he's still sore about their, or rather his, defeat to a bunch of middle school kids."

"I understand being sore about losing to a bunch of kids, but why kids?"

"His betrayal kinda made the Ninth and CEDEF hand the rings over to them prematurely."

"So what happens if someone mentions Decimo?"

"They usually get guns shot at them, a fireball thrown at them, a wineglass, if he's in a good mood (yeah right) or all of the above."

"Nasty."

"No kidding. How do they cope with that kind of boss? If anyone mentions his defeat to Decimo, you will die in no time flat. Really touchy bout that."

A low whistle. So that is the Varia huh. Kenshin thought that he'd better stay well away from them. But ¬

"Beating the Varia? Who are the Vongola guardians anyway? There was no information on them anywhere." (A/N: Guess who made sure of that)

"That is really top secret. Only those high up know who they are and how they look like. But judging from the rumours, you really don't want to face them alone."

"Why? Are they really that dangerous?

"It's no shit with the Mist Guardian, Rokudo Mukuro. He was a science experiment for the Estraneo Famiglia. They wanted to research on the Six Paths of Reincarnation, so they killed him multiple times. He is around the same age as the rest of the guardians, so he was just a kid then."

Kenshin was horrified at the atrocities that the Estraneo did, and also puzzled that he never heard of them before.

"How come I never heard of them before?"

"Every single Estraneo was massacred. The only survivors was him, and a few people who were also experimented on by the Estraneo."

"Who did that?"

"Rokudo Mukuro himself. He absolutely hates the mafia and had been trying to take them down, a family at a time. But then he got caught by Vendiche, who imprisoned him. The Vendiche are more or less the law in the underworld, they take those who broke their rules. They say that even the devils fear them. But Rokudo Mukuro broke out with his associates, even though he got caught again and thrown even deeper in the highest security levels. His associates were ignored since he planned everything."

"….. That is really scary. So how did he get out? Did he break out again? And how did he become a Vongola if he hates them so much?"

"Looks like he can possess people, you know, like a ghost, due to the experiments done on him. He tried to get Decimo's body so that he can use him to take everything down but he got his ass handed to him. And after that, he ended up as a prisoner in Vendiche."

"He tried to possess Vongola Decimo, but ended up getting imprisoned, and also somehow ending up as the Mist Guardian. That is either really stupid of Decimo. That, or he's a saint. Or very cunning," said Kenshin, trying to get all the facts straight.

"I hear that now Rokudo Mukuro is one of the best illusionists in the world, capable of fooling even Vendiche. As if it's not bad enough that he can drive people insane and kill them with his illusions."

"Ho-Kay then, cunning it is then. How he get out before then?"

"Apparently Decimo negotiated with them for his release. As what they benefit from the deal, nobody knows. The only thing we know connected with it is that the Shimon Famiglia is somehow involved."

"The more I hear the more I want to scream. I'm really starting to fear my job. Who are the Shimons?"

"There was some kind of misunderstanding between the two families and they attacked. Even though they were and still are, a very small family, but they can rival Vongola in terms of destruction caused. I haven't come here at that time so I'm not sure what happened. But what I do know is that they attacked during the Inheritance Ceremony."

"What happened to them. "

"Nothing. Heard that both of them are now as tight as when they first met with each other, and that the leaders are like brothers."

'Seriously, nothing happens to the people who oppose the Vongola? I thought they are the feared, mafia with the bloodiest history ever known! What gives?' Kenshin was confused.

"Does the foe-to-friend thing happened often?"

"Not all the time. If some family crosses the line, they get crushed without mercy. Usually that's because they tried to attack a vongola to use his connections. They don't take it that kindly. Pray that a Guardian doesn't show up, especially the Mist or the Cloud."

"Who is the Cloud?"

"A very independent person whom I heard is just like the First Cloud Guardian. Never listens to anyone if it has nothing to do with him. Even Decimo can't get him to do anything if he really doesn't want to. Recently, he founded an organization called 'The Foundation' in his hometown, Namimori, so far nobody knows exactly what they do, since nobody anyone knows got recruited. Even CEDEF members get attacked for trespassing. They always end up in the hospital."

Ouch, antisocial much?

"So, what about the rest?"

"Only the basics are known. And that is really fuzzy. Anyone who knows and tries to tell always, and I mean always end up meeting with the Cloud or the Mist. It's like they know everything on everyone! It so bloody creepy how they find things out with nobody knowing how or when."

This has been a very enlightening convo, or should I say dimming, convo for our detective. He wanted some air to take with the facts he just learnt.

"This is a little too much to take. I think I'll just go for a walk and take in the surroundings. I'll be back in the evening."

"Sure, take your time."

He calmed down some during his walk. He got to enjoy the sights and sounds of the bustle among the people. His time with fatso got him so busy that he never found the time to properly enjoy the sights and sounds of a foreign country.

If he didn't know better, he would have said that the city he's at is the last place anyone would look out for the location of a very well-known Famiglia. The locals are friendly and more open than he expected, but then westerners are more expressive then Asians like him.

No gang fights, drug wars, going on, the whole place is very peaceful. Going to a park, he took a shortcut through an alleyway.

Not very clean, he mused, then coming out into the street opposite the park. A mid-sized place with a lot of places to exercise or enjoy the view. He sat and stretched out on a bench, with plenty of space. Normally there would be a lot of people in the park, judging from how worn the pavement looks.

"Okay mum, I know. I better get back before he finds me and kicks me all the way to the office. He only gave me a break of a few hours, then it will be back to signing papers until whatever party he's planning. God how just a party can scare me. No! it will not be fun! Not while he's planning it, he's sadistic! The piles of paper are filling up the office room, it makes me long for the time back when we were still messing around back in middle school. I know. I love you too, mum. Say hi to Kyoko-chan and Haru for me okay? Mum! They're not my girlfriends! Sheesh. Goodbye."

Japanese? Who is this? He turned around to see a brunet hair sticking out from behind a tree. No wonder he didn't see him at first. This person was speaking to his mother in Japan. From the sound of it, he works here in Italy.

The speaker stood up and picked something up something. A biker helmet, so he rode a motorbike here then. He watched as the person dusted off his clothes (casual, looks normal, but hints at expensive tastes, a very nice job he's working then), he looked at him more intently but then the person suddenly froze.

"_Who's there."_

Shocked at how the person knew he was there without even turning around, and reacted so calmly, quickly, he replied in Japanese.

"Ah, nothing. Just surprised at a fellow countrymen in this beautiful town. Should be about seven o'clock there right?"

The person turned around. Kenshin saw that he was pretty young, couldn't be older than twenty. Rather handsome, girls probably fall all over him when he goes out.

"Yeah, that was my mother. Just telling her how I'm doing, how is the internship going, stuff like that."

The young man sat next to Kenshin on his bench. He looked at Kenshin, with a slight smile on him. Kenshin studied him a little more. When he spoke Italian earlier, it was flawless, barely an accent to it. Now that he has a close-up on him, it was very clear that he's a little shy, kinda timid, but looks like he knows how to talk to people.

"What's your name, kid?"

"Tsunayoshi. But just call me Tsuna. Pleased to meet you, erm…"

"Arata Kenshin. Just call me Kenshin."

"Pleased to meet you, Kenshin-san."

Tsuna smiled, studying the man talking to him. Kenshin was not his actual name, but from the way he looks so comfortable in it, he probably used the name a lot. He was studying him before, and the way he does it looks rather professional, so either his job is that of psychology, or maybe¬ Wait, please don't let this guy be Mafioso, he had enough of people trying kill him. But he doesn't feel dangerous, so not Mafioso then. Maybe.

"So what are you doing here in Italy, Tsuna-san?"

Kenshin is just making idle convo with Tsuna, missing his family back in Japan.

"Working on an internship, the guy who works me is sadistic, every time it looks like I'm going finish something, he just waltzes in and dumps a few stacks of paper on my desk and gives that evil smirk."

The way Tsuna tensed and gave a slight look around made it clear that he was expecting for the devil to show up and maybe kick him for the remark, but he relaxed after he saw that they was no place for the evil boss Tsuna was talking about to hide in. There was something about this kid, the way his eyes looked at people, including him, that made him a little uneasy. It was as if he can tell what's going on in people's heads, how they work. That unnerved and interested him. Kenshin really wants to pick this guy's brain.

"Is your mother in Japan all by herself?"

Tsuna stiffened a bit.

"Yeah, dad always travels because of his job, so he rarely came and visited her back then. So when he does some back, she always ends up cooking a feast, until the table gets loaded with all kinds of dishes."

Tsuna smiled fondly at the memory, at how happy she acted then. Now she will be spending a lot of time at home, alone. That guy better do what he promised and take her out on a holiday after this is over, he thought.

Kenshin saw that Tsuna was the caring type, seeing him worry about his mother.

Suddenly, Tsuna's phone rang. He glanced at the number and blanched, wondering what went wrong. Timidly, he answered.

"Yes? Okay okay, I'll go there! Please don't bite me to death!"

Kenshin saw Tsuna cutting the call and hurriedly picking his helmet from the grass.

"You have to go back?"

"Yeah, otherwise I'll be beaten up again for disrupting discipline by that person. It'll be nice to see you again, Kenshin –san! Ciao!"

"Goodbye, kid!"

Kenshin sat there, mulling about the kid he just talked to. Something's off about him, like there's a double meaning to his words. He was about to say something aloud when he suddenly saw a bunch of tuxedo-wearing men marching in the park with hands near their hips.

Shit! What the hell are these people doing here! He rolled off the bench and climbed up the tree Tsuna was under before. He spied through the branches and leaves and saw that the men suddenly picked up their pace and almost running, towards somebody. Everyone drew guns and silencers and aimed at someone out of Kenshin's sight.

But then the group stuttered to a halt and the unknown figure rushed at them. They were mostly in view of Kenshin, but he didn't really know what happened. It was too fast. One moment they were all standing, but the next everyone was on the ground, with blood here and there. It wasn't much but it looked like they had been beaten.

The victim-turned-attacker stepped into his line of sight. He looks like a young person, early 20s, wearing a very expensive looking suit with flecks of blood on it. He was holding a pair of very bloody tonfas and was in the process of wiping blood off them with tissues.

Hibari felt bored with the bunch of weak herbivores. He sensed that there was someone hiding in the tree ever since those weaklings tried to take the omnivore out. It wasn't _him_ for he saw him running out of the park already, right before they showed up trying to take his life. Must be the herbivore he was talking to.

Kenshin watched as the young man suddenly glared in his direction. An overwhelming killer intent, this guy has to be in the mafia. He experienced people with unbelievable killing intents, but this one trumps them all. It's like he'll kill everyone and anyone in the vicinity.

He watched as the man took out a smartphone and dialled somebody. He spoke with somebody and quickly cut the call.

Moments later, Kenshin saw another person walking hurriedly into the park. As the new person walked into view, Kenshin cannot help but to stare at for Elvis Presley has just entered the grounds.

The young man was ordering the Elvis guy something, with that done, the young man started to stalk in his direction. He was expecting the guy to walk right pass him, but instead he stopped in front of his tree. He glared at Kenshin peeking through the branches.

"Get down and get out of the premises before I bite you to death for trespassing."

The glint of tonfas hidden in the young man's sleeve was more than enough to convince him to get down and run for his life. But he couldn't help but to notice that there was a bracelet around the man's wrist. Judging from how ornate and detailed it is, and from the now stained suit, this person is probably in the mafia.

As Kenshin made his leave, what he didn't know is that to be in anyway involved in the Vongola, means that his sanity, normal sense of logic will end up like them.

Everything. Must . Die. And. Shot. Into. A. Million. Pieces with no hope of ever returning.

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><p>Sorry bout the longer than usual wait, minna-san.<p>

Finally I introduce the two. Who do you want to be next?


	8. Chapter 8: April Fool, Vongola Style

Omake: April Fools' Day, Vongola Style

Typed all this in one day, since i'm in the mood.

Before Kenshin came by, just to make you guys clear.

Disclaimer: KHR belongs to Aamano, Jacques is owned by Orrurun. K? You guys heard me?

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><p>"Erm, Assistant Comissioner, there is a package addressed to you."<p>

Jacques was crouching over several photographs of a few well-known Mafiosi when the office-boy knocked at the door. Since his train of thought had been ruined by him, naturally he was feeling rather irritable when he glanced up.

"I'll get it later. Close the door when you leave."

"I don't think so. The package has the Vongola crest on it, sir. But it passed all the bomb and hazardous materials checks, so it should be safe. At least we think so."

Jacques snatched the innocent-looking object from the office boy's hands. He motioned for him to close the door and leave him alone. He was about to open the wrapping when he saw people outside trying to discreetly, but failing, spy on his reaction to something sent from his arch-nemesis, the Vongola Famiglia.

He blacked out the windows (thank god for better than usual budget). Now that there aren't any more idiots spying on him, he started to double check for any suspicious material or liquids, just in case those people missed something.

Satisfied that there isn't anything that might destroy evidence, he finally opened it. **After** he hid every piece of document in his drawers and locked everything that might be of importance.

It was an ordinary looking box. Made of cardboard, with a card taped on it. He read the card first, eyes narrowing at the familiar handwriting.

Damnit, it was from Sawada Iemitsu. It was a short apology about the whole fiasco from back then. Like hell he'll believe it. That man gets on his nerves so much, he really regrets saving him that time. But, he opens the box anyway.

*Poof!*

Jacques was engulfed by a cloud of red-pink smoke(?) dust (?). Squinting through a face full of the stuff, he saw that his entire desk has turned the same colour as his face. What made him go even redder was the piece of paper **in** the box. There was a big troll face printed on it, on top of it, there were the words: Happy April Fool!

And then he couldn't believe his eyes. There was an orange lion, covered in flames, prowling about in his office room. He became still, just in case the lion decides to make a meal out of him. How the hell did those people manage to get a lion, of all things into here?

But then the lion turned towards him, and then looked at one of his drawers. Jacques paled, the drawer it's looking at has a file on somebody affiliated with them.

"Nonononono. Oh no you don't."

But the lion roared, somehow turning the drawer into stone. With that done, it just vanished in a burst of flames. Jacques was shocked dumb for a moment and then screamed.

"IEMIIIIITSUUUUUUUU!"

Those outside leaning at the wall and door, trying to overhear his reaction to a vongola present without getting caught and yelled at had gone temporarily deaf at the sudden first roar, no one knows where did that come from, and then ran for cover back to their desks, looking innocent, when they heard the second roar, courtesy of the Assistant Commissioner.

Not a moment too late. The door slammed open, revealing a very angry clown. Oh wait, that not a clown, that's Jacques. ….. They do say that pink is the new black, and that thing on his face doesn't look like it'll wash off soon, especially if it came from the Vongola. Never knew that they had a sense of humour.

"Get somebody to clean the place up. Now."

"Yes sir!"

'Oh happy bloody April Fool, you Vongola. I'll get you next time.' He mentally swore at the mess and cleaned his face with a towel that someone timidly offered.

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><p>Okay? People! Read and review! its no fun if there aren't that many reviewers!<p> 


	9. Chapter 9: Words of warning

Chap 9: Words of warning

Got reminded by Xanyxhi to credit Orrunan for giving me the inspiration to make this fan fic. Whoops and Gomenasai for not saying earlier!

**Disclaimer: **I do not own this story, only the fanfic. Polenta and Jacques are characters from Orrunan.

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><p>"There you are."<p>

"Bloody hell, who the hell is that guy? I thought I was going to die. And I want to ask you something, are pompadours, Elvis Presley style, in, in this crazy place ?"

Polenta thought over what his co-worker is rambling about. Then it hit him. He poured out another cup of coffee for his freaked out friend.

"Did you meet somebody with a huge pompadour, kinda tall, oriental, and always seen in a suit?"

And Kenshin haven't even got to describe the Elvis look-a-like.

"How did you know? Is he a part of the mafia?... If he is, then that person is definitely part of it too."

"If the guy you're thinking about is the same as the one I'm thinking about, then the guy's name should be Tetsuya Kusakabe, or Kusakabe Tetsuya, by the way you people arrange your names."

"Wait, you know that guy?"

"Not exactly know, but I've seen the guy coming in and out of CEDEF."

"So he's a member?"

"No, he's a member of the recently formed Foundation. I hear that the leading members consist of people that are loyal to him since middle school."

Kenshin did a spit-take, spraying an unfortunately positioned Polenta. Since middle school? Damn, that tales loyalty to a whole new level.

"Is he the leader of this Foundation thing?"

"Umm no. I believe that the head would be… who is that again? Oh wait, now I remember, some Japanese guy, Hibari Kouya. I finally found out that he's the Cloud Guardian for the Vongola Decimo."

At this point, Kenshin was getting chills up his spine. He thought about the young man he saw in the park earlier. That raven haired, blood thirsty person was not somebody he wanted to meet again. But it looks like if this continues on, he's going to have to face him again. Him, or somebody else. He will not envy the person who has to face this monster.

"Do you know how that person looks like? Any photos, personal information ?"

"Nothing on the guys past. Anyone who might know everything back in his hometown Namimori holds their tongues in case he comes back and bite them to death. Apparently, he had the whole town, including the local yakuza **and the local police**, under his thumb through sheer violence."

Jesus, when did that happen?

"When did he take over the entire town?"

"Around 5 or 6 years ago, if you mean started controlling the entire town, then add another couple years to that."

Kenshin thought that there has to be a mistake. Is that all the same person? Or did somebody take over the place before entrusting everthing to this Hibari Kouya? That, or there's a problem with his maths.

"Do you know how old this guy is?"

"They said that the guardians are all the same age or about a year older. And since Decimo should be about 20 years old, so Hibari Kouya would be 21 I guess."

"Minus 6 years, so young at that time?"

"They don't call him the most dangerous man in the Mafia for nothing. I saw the destruction he left behind once, it looked like Chuck Norris just ploughed his way through some buildings."

"So everyone really is just about 20 or more years old."

"Yep."

"You're kidding me."

"Nope."

"Why did I take this assignment again?"

"Because.. you had absolutely no clue what you're in for when you accepted it?"

Polenta's phone rang. It was somebody from CEDEF, for the hundredth time, whenever they want something normal done, somehow he always gets to be the victim they go for. Each time he goes through these kinds of things, he gets that bit closer to breaking under the mental strain that the crazy missions tend to dish out like candy. There is no such thing as a good day when it comes to involving oneself in the Vongola Famiglia.

Polenta picked up the phone warily, half expecting it to explode any moment now. Like somebody trying to go for a wax, he just quickly answered the call.

"Yes? Yes, of course. Excuse me, do you mind that I ask whose idea was it? …. I see, then looks like it can't be helped. But I'm not sure whether he can, I mean will, be able to take the strain. He is a newbie right? Oh, short of staff. Then it looks like it really can't be helped. I'll try to break the news to him. No, he won't be honoured. He's still adapting to our take on things here. But he'll do his best, I'm sure of that. _Of course sir._"

With that mildly sarcastic tone, Polenta ended the call. He stood there as if considering something for a moment, and then turned at Kenshin, with a, quite frankly, disturbing expression that did not bode well for our agent.

Naturally, he had to ask what happened. He will not like the news, and shall suffer the insanity that his predecessors had suffered due to the curse of the clam and co.

"Who called?"

"You're getting transferred from CEDEF to working amongst the other Mafiosi in the Vongola."

"Aren't the CEDEF a part of the Vongola?"

"Yeah, an independent part. During normal, peaceful times, it's practically a separate entity. It only interferes and takes charge when there is a great emergency. And since, for now, its moderately peaceful,so there's nothing to do for those working at CEDEF, so….. we kinda got strong-armed into helping out. Lal Mirch says if we don't show up and help out, she'll kick our asses into next Sunday."

Polenta can't help but to suppress a shiver at the thought of his friend's upcoming doom. Kenshin is still not used to the way things work around here, he will end up in the asylum for sure. Never mind, as long as he survives his first day….

Kenshin, with no clue whatsoever, wanted to know the obviously big hurdles that he'll be facing, as he could read Polenta like an open book and it didn't look good. He looks way too green for 'good'.

"So where are we going to end up working?"

"I guess for your sanity, we're going to start small, kinda small. We are going to accompany Lambo, the tenth Thunder Guardian, as he is helping out with some stuff also. He's still an obnoxious kid, so be ready for headaches."

"The Thunder Guardian, huh. So, what are we, bodyguards?"

"I guess so. But how can **we **guard **him** is beyond me."

"Why?"

"A Vongola Guardian, even a trip to a nearby shop will result in chaos. Tomorrow you'll see why."

The next day, Polenta and Kenshin were waiting at the mansion gates, looking for their young, bratty charge.

"Yo, ossan. So the two of you are supposed to be accompanying me out?"

The two turned around to find a 10 year old kid wearing cowprint clothes, just lazily leaning on the gate, looking like he had been there forever. Kenshin was understandably startled at the sudden appearance of the kid.

"Kid, what are you doing here? This is private property!"

"I live here, dumbass. The name's Lambo. I'm the Thunder Guardian if you don't know, ossan."

Ossan? That meant he knows some Japanese. Thunder Guardian? Oh that can't be right. He glanced at Polenta who looked like he swallowed a bug, shaking his head.

'Oh I see, he really is the Thunder Guardian. I'm so stupid. They're gonna know that I'm a cop. Oh shit, why didn't they have photos of the famous people so that I won't stumble across one of them by mistake? Bratty half-pint will get me in trouble for sure! Please don't act like a brat and squeal to other people.'

"So you're my 'bodyguards'."

Kenshin didn't miss the quotations at the words 'bodyguards'. Looks like he doesn't like the idea of bodyguards. Polenta dragged him a short distance from the kid.

"Don't try to kick someone out before learning who they are!" Polenta hissed.

"Shouldn't we get going bout now? Lal Mirch is stalking the grounds looking for victims. And Reborn takes pot shots at people nowdays cause he's bored. For now, Decimo's bearing the brunt of his attacks but he won't last until you finish your conversation so quit yakking like a couple of old ladies and let's go already!"

"Oh my god, that crazy is here? MOVE OVER!" Polenta shoved both Lambo and Kenshin into the car and stepped on the gas, the car screeching its way out of the premises.

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><p>Remind me not to leave a story for too long. It gets hard to connect everything when you just dump it halfway through writing this chapter.<p>

Read and review please, minna-san!


	10. Chapter 10: Shopping Time!

**Disclaimer: I don't own KHR**

**...** I feel like an idiot. Polenta was the real name. Pierro is the undercover name. Since I don't feel like changing everything, so can we just switch to Piero being the real name?

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><p><strong>Chap 10: Shopping Time!<strong>

"Stoptstopstop. For gods' sake, slow down!"

Everyone, Polenta, Kenshin, and Lambo were all in the car. With Polenta as the driver, they were all racing down the highway, with speeds way too fast for its model. Seriously, did they modify the car to have NO for fast getaways? Lambo was just sitting there rather calmly, looking as if he doesn't give a damn, as if he's used to these speeds. But a closer look at his hand, tightly clutching his seatbelt, reveals that he's just as scared as Kenshin is by the manic way Polenta was driving.

"Oi Polenta, we're far enough from the mansion, SO SLOW THE FUCK DOWN BEFORE YOU KILL US ALL ALREADY!"

Thank god Lambo was the one who first broke the silence. Cause Kenshin wasn't faring all that well with the mildly tensed atmosphere after both of them got thrown in the car. Just who is this guy scared of? Light a fire under his ass and he gets super strength. And another thing, no traffic cops on such a long stretch of road? Illegal racing bait much?

"Huh? Oh wow, this car can go really fast, doesn't it?"

"Polenta, you had been driving for a good ten minutes and you had NO FREAKING IDEA? Seriously, just slow down. For once, I agree with Lambo-san. So please slow down before we run into something."

Kenshin deliberately tacked on the –san at the end of his name, trying to gauge how long the kid lived with Japanese speaking people. He didn't react, so maybe he had been around Japan for a while.

"I'm sorry! I never knew that this kind of car can go so fast. Did they modify this car or something? I was just a tad stressed when Lambo said that _**they **_were here, I just freaked."

"And I thought that you were trying to go faster than light."

"Obviously."

The two said simultaneously . The first time the two had agreed on something, and maybe not the last.

They kept on the silence during the drive after Polenta had reduced the speed to sane, reasonable levels and just sat there until they finally arrived at their destination, the nearest city to their location. Turns out that the things they wanted was rather hard to find, and Lambo wanted to see the sights and sounds of the city since it had been a long time since he was back in Italy, and he was bored to death of the _calm _and _peaceful_ mansion.

"I want ice-cream!"

'God, he's acting like a brat. The first thing he goes for upon arriving is ask for ice-cream? I thought he might be a bit more mature than most children. Whatever, at least he is a kid. Just a spoiled one, which means that he doesn't get handed out potentially life-threatening missions…. Or any missions, for that matter.' He watched as Lambo went nuts trying to balance six scoops of ice-cream, complete with a lot of sprinkles, on his cone.

"Thanks! Now let's go and get everything on the list before Reborn hunts us down for slacking off." Said Lambo, taking out a roll of (man, that's thick. Whoah, it's like a foot in diameter! WTF?) paper. Lambo then handed the 'toilet' paper roll to Kenshin and Polenta.

"I'm off to take a walk. See ya!"

"Hang on a –"

The kid was already out of sight and earshot. Who knew that the little brat could run so fast? And they can't even track him by his cell. Damnit, it looks like they have to do everything themselves. This will take a while to do the little brat's chores. Why do people like to play the 'let's ditch the bodyguard' game so much? Don't hire them if all you plan to do is ditch them while you have fun. Being the ditched bodyguard for so many times in his career, he can't help but to marvel at the carelessness of some people. At least both he and Polenta will know where Lambo is if chaos erupts.

3 hours later, they finally finished on the tasks. Thank god that a quarter of the total length of the paper was just reminders on not getting distracted by snack shops, ignoring the chores will end up with an angry Reborn..etc., etc.

It was very clear that whoever wrote this has a very clear understanding of Lambo's personality. And from the nagging, mothering tone, maybe a woman who had went on such shopping trips with Lambo. There was a footnote that said: '_And don't get into trouble! Or in the very least, don't damage any buildings or shops! I have enough paperwork without you adding another stack on me!' _The coin's up for whether the writer is a dude or a chick, with this handwriting, you just can't tell which.

They had to run to shops all over town, booking the things on the list. The shopkeepers were rather busy, but most still greeted them with a smile and those who didn't, the similarities that they shared with the grumpy ones were that they instantly had narrowed eyes when they heard that the ones needing their supplies were the Vongola. Reactions include: someone saying: "Good, I always wanted a decent challenge", to "This is such an honour" to "Oh god, not them again", to "XX, get the backups ready! There's gonna be a storm in in a few weeks. We don't want to end up like last time now, do we? So fill up the storehouse and book extra supplies from the wholesale!"

It was getting more and more obvious that Italian shops have certain protocols and routines whenever they do something for the Vongola. Do they have these kinds of things if they have to cater to other mafia, or is this a Vongola only thing? But judging from what Kenshin has seen and heard so far, it's probably just a Vongola thing. You need to take more than the norm precautions.

"Yo, ossan, you guys are done already? Damn, you people are efficient."

And the brat has come back. With a young woman in tow. With an odd, purple pineapple hairdo, and wearing an eye patch, she stuck out a lot. Where did she come from? Who is she? A hired gun? But they seem to know each other. He wanted to ask, but then Polenta spoke up.

"Miss Chrome! I see that you were accompanying Lambo when he 'asked' us to help out with the supplies."

"We just bumped into each other in the cake shop. I hope that Lambo wasn't too much trouble for you two." She bowed to them.

"He wasn't that much trouble at all. In fact we're already done with everything."

Kenshin noted that she spoke somewhat hesitantly, naturally shy. She was not exactly the kind of gal that Kenshin would expect would be in the Mafia. Maybe her family members are in it. She doesn't look like she could harm a fly. He really needs to ask Polenta on who she is and how she connects to the Vongola. For all he could see, she acts kinda like an elder, polite sister towards Lambo. Polenta then had to speak up, eying his watch warily.

"I believe that it is about time to return to the mansion. I don't think that we should be late, especially if those two are prowling the grounds. Miss Chrome, do you need a ride back to the mansion?"

"I guess. If that's ok with you."

They dropped Lambo and Chrome at the mansion. Lambo lazily waved goodbye at them, but it looked like Chrome made him to. After that, it was a quiet drive back to the old apartment.

"Hey, Po."

"Please don't call me that."

"How is that Chrome girl connected to the Vongola?"

"Chrome is one of the Mist Guardians."

"What do you mean by 'one'?"

"Because everyone still has misgivings about the Mafia-hating Rokudo Mukuro. They said that she was his host when he was incarcerated in Vendiche."

Kenshin did a spit take.

"The one that killed the Estraneo Famiglia?And what do you mean by host, exactly?"

"Didn't I tell you about him being able to possess people? Well, they said that since he can't move because of his imprisonment, he would sometimes take over her body to talk, fight, or something."

"That just sounds wrong somehow."

"Just learn to ignore these things and take them in stride. If you mull over everything that bothers you, you'll go insane soon enough."

"Right."

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><p>Minna, thanks for reviewing!<p> 


	11. Chapter 11: Sunny rain

****Thank you everybody for reviewing as well setting the story on alerts!

**Disclaimer: i do not own KHR. Now enjoy the story! 3**

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><p><strong>Chap 11: Sunny Rain<strong>

Seriously, it's practically dawn! But Kenshin had to take a closer look when he heard someone shouted "EXTREME!", with inhuman decibels. R&R his ass.

He thought that he could finally take a break after the shopping the previous day. He thought it was relatively peaceful, but he had overheard complaints from a snackshop owner about somebody, a Mafioso, harassing a kid in his shop. The guy was about to call the cops, but then the kid freaked out and at that same time there was a black out in his shop as well as his neighbours. A customer said that they heard something like electricity sparking. The lights came back on later and they found the Mafioso looking rather worse for wear (as in, mildly blackened), and sparked a bit when the police arrived and tried to grab him.

When he asked Polenta on this, at first he narrowed his eyes in puzzlement, then he casts a suspicious look in no particular direction, before finally muttering "probably the brat." confusing our detective even further. Did he mean Lambo? Did he have a Taser hidden somewhere on him?

But that's not all, as they were shopping then, they heard about some random thugs trying to rough up a girl, nobody saw or trusted their eyes, but somehow those thugs ended up wrapped in snakes that came out of nowhere, with the girl mysteriously disappearing out of everyone's view. No one could tell where she went. Kenshin started to have misgivings about this, and decided not to ask as to whose work was that.

Apparently, anything Vongola related just won't leave the poor man alone. (Which is what you get when you stick your nose in anything that's related to them.)

Back to the 'EXTREME!', he back tracked to the general location where he heard the loud shout. He thought it was finally safe to return to the park to unwind, but naturally, he was wrong. Safe? Of course. But sane? Might have to check that one first. He was starting to get why Tsuna hid behind that tree in the first place. You're practically invisible from the path if somebody (read: Hibari, well not him anyway, or some unobservant Mafiosi) walks along it. The tree also makes for pretty good shade and the trunk is plenty wide enough for Kenshin to hide there himself.

The shouter was running along the path. As he drew closer, Kenshin could see a, wait, there are two people, the shouter is a very well built young man, teenager, whatever, with short-cropped hair. But both him and his jogging partner Japanese people, judging from their features. The other one looks rather familiar, he can't put his finger on it. He has the cheerful face that puts even Kenshin at ease, despite his earlier misgivings. Short, black hair, tall and fit. He was marked by Kenshin as an athlete.

They both slowed down and sat on the nearby bench.

"That was an EXTREME jog! Yamamoto, it sure was fun, wasn't it, jogging around the town. It was a bit bigger than I expected, we only managed to do 5 rounds? Glad that Tsuna gave us some time off, with EXTREME numbers of people attacking us all the time, it's hard trying to get some time to exercise."

"Ahahaha, we have to get used to it somehow, if we let our guards down then the kid might join in and take pot shots at sure is nice having some peace and quiet for once right? Ryohei?"

So the black one is Yamamoto and the white one is Ryohei. Both definitely Japanese. What's up with the sudden influx of Japanese people in Italy? Yamamoto,Yamamoto, where did he hear that name before? The Ryohei guy said the name Tsuna, does he mean **that **Tsuna? The kid that he met in the park last time? Do they both know him? People attacking them all the time, are these two involved in the Mafia? And by extension, is that kid, Tsuna, in it too? Tsuna gave them some time off? Is he above them in terms of ranking?

While he was ruminating over this. Yamamoto had indeed noticed him, but chose to ignore him since he couldn't feel any killing intent from the guy. That guy is probably skiving off work, just like Tsuna would do every chance he gets. He was mildly surprised that the person didn't turn his phone off just in case the person's employer rang.

Kenshin's phone had rang, revealing his (already known by Yamamoto) position. Why didn't he put it on silent mode, he wondered for the umpteenth time. It's as if it deliberately chose that time to ring and expose him.

"There's an EXTREME spy behind the tree!"

Spy? Better say something fast.

"Who are you calling a spy?"

"Ahahaha, ossan, you skiving off work?"

Perfect story for Kenshin to take, so why not?

"Don't say that you saw me. I've been having too much stress already and I really need a break before I go insane."

"Same here. Why don't you come and sit with us? There's plenty of space here."

Taking note, Kenshin saw that Yamamoto was on one end of the bench, with Ryohei on the other side. Not sure whether that's intentional or not, but he has to sit in the middle, right next to Ryohei and his EXTREME voice volume. Ryohei can give the foghorn person he heard back at home a run for his money. He can't say no, so he had to sit there, next to the loud one. He regrets not bringing earplugs, or earphones, for that matter.

"Sure, if you guys don't mind. Do the two of you come here often?"

"Not really. We were kinda busy the moment we touched down in Italy. But I guess it could count as relaxing if you compare us with Tsuna. Man, I feel bad for the guy, sure ain't easy being in his shoes, buried by paperwork every single time he opens the door, and then with the deadlines, yep, he looked like he was ready to cry. And then meeting the heads coming in from all over the place, no wonder he wanted to build a secret passage to escape."

The kid's name popped up again. Question is, is it the Tsuna he met that time, or maybe a different Tsuna altogether?

"Who is this Tsuna person? You've been mentioning him quite a few times now. How is he like?"

"Tsuna is an EXTREME little brother! The people he meets are always EXTREME!"

"Tsuna, I guess that he is always a pretty fun person. The games we played were and are always incredibly realistic. I guess it's only natural since he's kinda rich and all that. Even though some of the games we played back then were organised by that kid. I met a lot of people and learnt quite a few things from them."

The more Kenshin hears, the more off-balanced he feels. He tried to ask something but, naturally, he was interrupted.

For the second time he visited this normal looking park, another crowd of Mafiosi, much larger than last time, came and made a bee-line in the guys' direction. Seriously? Why do these people like to come here?

"There they are! Get them!", the burly one in the front shouted. Obviously in charge of this attempted coup de grace and everyone charged at them like a rampaging bull with a score to settle.

Kenshin would have run from the overwhelming numbers, but a sharp glint from Yamamoto's eyes made him stay put. What surprised him was the fact that Yamamoto looked like he will enjoy this very much.

"Looks like they found us. And I thought that we could get some more time off. I guess it's my turn to take care of this one."

"Oh."

Watching the interaction between Ryohei and Yamamoto, Kenshin went from off-balanced to off-kilter trying to make sense of things. He started to stand up to offer help to Yamamoto, but then his offer died in his throat when he saw Yamamoto hold a Japanese katana (where the hell did that come from?), and decided to just sit and keep his mouth shut. 50 something Mafiosi armed to the teeth against one guy with a Japanese katana, this will not end well.

Kenshin was still in a state of shock. They were surrounded by unconscious and (probably) not exactly dead Mafiosi. It happened way too fast for Kenshin to process what had happened. One minute Yamamoto was swinging his sword like a baseball bat, the next he was going through the supposed-to-be aggressors like someone going through a bunch of weeds with a weed-whacker. All went down in less than three minutes.

"That was easy. Ryohei, we should probably go before we drag ossan in."

"That was an EXTREME warm-up! The next group's mine!"

"Kay, see you later ossan!"

"Umm, bye?"

He marvelled at the destruction that young man had caused in just a few minutes. A tree sliced in half, a few guns rendered unusable, on closer inspection, it reveals that they too had been halved also. He was about to make a break for it when an elderly groundskeeper walked by.

"NOOOOOOOOO! Not my garden again! Pick your fights somewhere else why don't you? That tree had been there since WWII, it survived there until you people came along. .."

As the old man was completely ignoring Keshin's presence and rolled a dumpster here. His eyes bugged out as the old man was actually stronger than he looked, he WAS ACTUALLY HEAVING AND THROWING THE UNCONSCIOUS MAFIOSI IN IT! Damn, this must happen often if this is how an elderly man reacted when there are Mafiosi scattered all over his grounds.

He turned around and made his leave, trying to make sense of all that's happened. This is by far the worst and craziest mission he has ever undertaken so far.

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><p>Read and review!<p> 


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